VM Voices: Moms, it’s time to lower the bar!
I am proudly lowering the bar. I’m lowering the bar on everything I don’t like doing. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.We moms set the bar pretty high for ourselves. We try to do it all. We work. We take care of the kids. We chauffeur everyone to their activities. We clean the house. We organize the outings. We make sure everyone is fed. God forbid we try to squeeze some ‘me time’ in there.
It’s too much. We can’t do it all. At least, we can’t do it all well.
So what’s the solution? It’s pretty simple: lower the bar.
Lower the bar. If you love baking, then by all means bake a cake or cookies from scratch for your kid’s school party. But if you have no time (because your kid told you she signed you up to bring cookies 8 pm the night before the party) or if you get no joy from baking, then drive to the nearest grocery store and buy a package of cookies. Head to the bakery department and buy some ‘they’re-basically-homemade’ sugar cookies. The kids won’t notice a difference and you’ll save yourself time and a giant headache.
If your happy place is on the bathroom scrubbing baseboards, then you scrub away. But if you clean because you have to, not because you love to, then it’s not going to kill anyone if you let the dust settle a bit longer. My mom’s friend once told me she didn’t dust because she liked the ‘matte finish.’ Put your Swiffer Duster down.
Lower the bar.
If Pinterest crafts get your creative juices flowing, then you pin away on your board. If you’d rather get a root canal than attempt to assemble a gingerbread house with your kids, lower the bar and buy a pre-assembled house that you can let the kids decorate. If birthday party goodie bags are stressing you out, send all the kids home with a bag of chips and a juice box. If getting that perfect family photo at that Instagram-worthy event is frustrating everyone, post the the not-so-perfect-real-life photo. Or better yet, don’t post it at all!
Lower the bar.
If you love cooking and hosting elaborate dinner parties, I applaud you. If you’re like me and the thought of even grocery shopping for a big dinner raises your anxiety levels, but you still love visiting with friends, just lower the bar. Invite people over for frozen pizza. Order in Indian. Do a pot luck style dinner party.
Do what you have to do to lower the bar.
Moms, join me! It’s time to lower your bar, and not be ashamed of it.I know laundry has to get done, meals have to be made, toilets have to be scrubbed. But not all at the same time. And not to impossibly high standards. Sometimes going to the park with your kids is more important than laundry. Sometimes going for a run is more important than organizing the hall closet. Sometimes taking a bath or having a nap is more important than scheduling the next play date. Sometimes watching a rom com on Netflix is more important than any of it.
Amy Beeman is mom to twins Sam and Lucy. She is also a VM Top 30 Blogger, Leading Moms speaker and radio personality.
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Amy Beeman has been working in morning radio for almost 20 years, first in her hometown of Prince George and now for 94.5 Virgin Radio with Jonny, Holly & Nira. Her interests include running half marathons, dancing in her kitchen, napping, blogging at According to Amy, and going on adventures with her twins, Lucy and Sam, and her son Stanley. Amy loves seeing the world through their eyes.