Making new friends as an adult isn’t often easy. We watch our kids join a game on the playground, uninvited, and marvel at how quickly they’re ‘in’ while we’re making awkward side-eyes at the Mom at the next bench. As we move into a post-pandemic world, social skills are feeling even less natural but the desire for interaction, friendship and support has never been greater.
Christina and Carolyn AKA the MomBabes know the value of connecting with other Moms. When I asked their advice for making Mom-friends they said, “See a Mom, Ask a Mom. Period.” They know the desire Mom’s have to share stories and to feel they’re not alone in the motherhood experience. “Think like your kid and walk on over and say hi,” they said. “Bond over your kids shared love of rolling in dirt and then ask for that coffee date.” It sounds scary but as the MomBabes told me, be B.R.A.V.E.
B – Be Yourself
R – Remove Barriers
A – Ask Them
V – Venture Out
E – Exchange Contact Info
Be Yourself – Make sure you stay true to you. If you are someone who hates water, don’t agree to meet a mama and her babe at the pool. If you hate sitting on the floor, library circle time is out. Find activities that you enjoy and will want to stay involved in. Whether you’re into cloth diapering, or you’re a co-sleeper or you feed your kids Kraft dinner and Fruit Loops, there are people for all of you. Don’t change who you are just to fit in.
Remove Barriers – Stop judging. You don’t know someone’s stories and rather than painting your own picture, pause, listen and be relatable. It’s important to show potential new friends that you want to develop a relationship and are not looking for something to judge. Think, friend request. You’ve scrolled through their IG feed or creeped Facebook until you have just enough unbiased material that you press the “request” button. Now give that new friend request the chance to show you who they really are, unfiltered.
Ask Them – Go for it. You can do it. Even if you hear crickets in return, remember some people just take time to process. The worst thing that will happen is that they’ll say, “oh sorry, I can’t.” Then, no big deal, no problem, move on, ask another! But 98.38% of the time, the other Mom is thinking, “oh yeah, I’m cool. Someone asked me to hang out, this is so rad!” If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!
Venture Out – Get out of the house, meet IRL (in real life). Babies are easy conversation starters or if your children are older, let them take the lead as they often naturally gravitate to other children while out and about. Most Moms are open to conversation at public venues so once you are out, the hard part is over. You made it out, now it’s the fun part. Drink that coffee and chat someone up!
Exchange Contact Info – Like Drake said, “You can call me on my cell phone” … there are about 10 different ways to connect with someone thanks to social media. You don’t even have to share numbers. But share something so you can connect and then follow through. For more advice from the MomBabes or to buy their book The MomBabes: A Motherhood anthology visit www.themombabes.com and follow @TheMomBabes
Jenn Wint is a writer, communications strategist and a public relations specialist. She is passionate about storytelling and community. Jenn lives in East Vancouver with her husband, 3yo son and 1yo daughter. You’ll find them hanging around Vancouver’s playgrounds, water parks, coffee shops and anywhere that bakes fresh cookies in-house!